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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Am I in the wrong for refusing to pay for my sister’s “family vacation” after I was excluded from planning?
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Then came the private message that turned the whole thing from awkward to transactional. Everyone needs to send their share. Her share was not small. When she asked why it cost so much, she got a justification that belongs on a framed sign in a luxury lobby, the family upgraded because family deserves comfort. Translation: you are paying for someone else’s taste.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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The refusal was simple and reasonable. She is not comfortable funding a trip she had no say in. She would have suggested cheaper dates, a different hotel, or even skipping a year and doing something smaller. Her sister heard that as sabotage, accused her of killing the vibe, and treated basic budget boundaries like a personal attack.
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That is where the rest of the family joined in, because nothing unites a clan like pressuring the one person who says no. The parents called her selfish and said this is what adults do for family. But adults also ask before they volunteer someone else’s wallet, and they do not confuse surprise with consent.
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If this trip is truly about togetherness, it can survive a conversation about cost and options. If it cannot, then it was never a family vacation, it was a group purchase with a guilt clause baked in.
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35-year-old demands her 29-year-old sister pay up after she plans and books an expensive family vacation without input: ‘When I asked why it was so expensive, she said they upgraded to a nicer place’
Family vacations are supposed to be the rare time everyone relaxes together, which is why they so often begin with a spreadsheet and end with someone crying in a parking lot. In this case, the trouble started the moment a 35-year-old sister announced a big summer trip, added the whole extended family to a group chat, and presented it like a cute surprise rather than what it actually was, a completed purchase.
The 29-year-old sister lives in another city, got added to the chat too, and assumed she would help pick dates or at least vote on a budget. Instead she watched the decisions arrive like a weather report. Location chosen. Dates locked. Hotel booked. Not a single question directed at her, just upbeat updates as if she were a guest invited to applaud.
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